Bless your heart for that lasagna.

Hey fellow Got Crowder,
                        If you think that you might struggle to find suitable presents for your nearest and dearest this Christmas, then please consider the range of books that my publishing company has released in recent months.    
                        If you know anyone who likes popular music, then they may be interested in:
The Song For Today by Jimmie Oliver; featuring a different song and news story for each day of the year; or
An Essential Guide To Music In The 1970s by Johnny Zero; a mini-encyclopedia on 'seventies rock and pop; or
A Concise Guide To Eighties' Music by Karl Vorderman; crammed full of information on rock and pop in the 1980s
If you know anyone who likes sport, then they may be interested in:
England Football Team, 1946-2006, A Complete Record by John Bull; or
The Ashes, 1945-2005, A Complete Record by Tony Wagtar; a book for cricket fans; or
The Five Nations/Six Nations, 1970-2009, A Complete Record by Ian Bronderson; a book for rugby fans
Alternatively, we offer a couple of offbeat and 'unique' books entitled:
How To Commit Suicide In Ten Easy Steps by KJ Rolling; or
Garry Potter And The Same Old Nonsense by David Backhim
                        Of course you could just follow the crowd and buy books written by celebrities who are less intelligent than you and whose lifestyle is funded by gullible people who foolishly worship them. What you choose to buy is a matter for you, but there are many good writers out there (including some of our own) who deserve to be taken seriously. It would be good to see genuine writers enjoy the kind of book sales this Christmas that the greedy celebrities are taking for granted. Thank you for your attention and I won't hassle you again. If you have any queries about the content or prices of my books, let me know. They can be sourced via online bookshops, such as Amazon and Blackwells.
                         Warmest wishes
                          Gary W

Oh you are an angel!  Jim AND I appreciate it so much!

Woooooooooooooo!

we could shoot em in the foot..and run away..I don;t know... I'm torn...